Hello Great Family,

Being right can really be a problem. Knowing that you are right about something can cause you to act in a way that can harm people and damage relationships. I'm finding that being right about something can be a very dangerous place.

All of this might sound confusing coming from a Christian context. I'm not suggesting we don't hold to Biblical truths. I'm also not advocating for, "your truth is true for you and my truth is true for me." I firmly believe that God's truth is absolute truth for all people at all times in all locations. However, knowing that you are right can lead you to do things wrongly.

I've been watching the NBA Finals and I'm amazed at how many of these great basketball players complain to the refs on every call that goes against them. It seems that in their mind they never travel, foul, or touch a ball last before it goes out of bounds. They think they are always right and the refs are always wrong. Then it dawns on me, I was exactly like that when I played competitive sports. I've had a few technical fouls called on me because I knew I was right and the ref was wrong (actually, it was because I let the ref know my position a little too clearly). I once made the most beautiful 360 degree move that culminated with a finger tip role that can only be described as a piece of art only to be called for traveling. I must admit, I lost my mind on that one. I knew I was right and that ref ruined one of the greatest plays of all time. After sharing my opinion of his mistake, he simply invited me to leave the court immediately and sit in the locker room the rest of the game. My coach had a rule that if anyone would ever get ejected from a game, they would also have to sit out the next game. Being right cost me lots of playing time.

When I know that I am right about something and someone disagrees with me, I can get angry and frustrated. Communication can become sharp and sarcastic. I feel the need to prove I'm right and in return, prove the other person is wrong. None of this beneficial in a relationship. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Please remember, we are not talking about being right. We are talking about the problems that can come with how we react to people about being right. According to an article by reachlink.com... 

Most people enjoy being right. It feels good to have your perspective validated or to win a debate. But there is a significant difference between appreciating accuracy and needing to be right so badly that it affects your relationships and inner peace.

The compulsive need to be right goes beyond healthy confidence. It is a pattern where being wrong feels threatening, almost dangerous, to your sense of self. Recognizing these signs in yourself is the first step toward understanding what is really driving the behavior.

You can’t let small things go

Your partner says the restaurant opened in 2019. You are certain it was 2018. Before you know it, you are scrolling through your phone mid-conversation, searching for proof. The stakes are essentially zero, yet something inside you will not rest until you have established the correct answer. This need to verify and prove extends to disagreements that genuinely do not matter, like movie release dates, song lyrics, or who said what three weeks ago.

Your body reacts to being challenged

When someone questions your viewpoint, you notice physical sensations: a tight chest, clenched jaw, or a rush of heat. Your nervous system responds to intellectual disagreement as if it were a genuine threat. This physiological reaction often happens before you have even processed what the other person said.

You keep score

Somewhere in your mind, you maintain a running tally of past disputes. You remember the times you were proven right and the times others were wrong. These mental scorecards serve as evidence of your reliability and judgment, ready to be referenced when needed.

My advice to you today is to BE RIGHT... BUT DO IT RIGHTLY!

God Bless,
P.D. (Psalm 139)